Girl’s guide to her twenties

Your twenties are a huge milestone in your life, your on the cusp of adulthood, and it’s a time of joy and experimentation, mixed with dark/confusing all-round uncertainty. But it really is an exciting time in your life! It’s where you are allowed to make mistakes and try to establish yourself in this world. There is also a tremendous amount of pressure to figure everything out, and you’re constantly asked questions like “What do you want to do with your life?” We are constantly searching for these answers, and sometimes you feel like everyone around you has figured out all the answers, except you. You start to think that something is wrong with you…but here is the thing…nothing is wrong with you!! Chances are they are just as confused as you are. So, if you feel confused you’r simply going through a normal rite of passage, i guess you can call it your “quarter-life” crisis.

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Now I’m not saying I’m and expert of your twenties, I mean I am only twenty three, but me and some of the people I know are probably feeling, or have felt, the same way as the rest of you twenty-something year olds out there. So I wanted to share some of the advice my friends or family have shared with me, to help you get through your twenties with just a little more ease, to inspire you, and remind you that you are not alone.

  1. Allow yourself to make mistakes, it’s ok to fail, and you will learn and gain so much from those mistakes, but don’t make the same mistake twice. Don’t try to be perfect, it’s not possible, and can be very exhausting. Don’t try to do it all…being burned out is no fun.
  2. Your parents may want or try to get you to do things the way they did them, or the way they think you should do them. But follow your own path even if they don’t agree, which they probably won’t, and that’s ok… don’t worry they love you, they’ll get over it. 
  3. Live your life according to your deepest values and goals, it’s the only way to stay true to who you are.
  4. Being young doesn’t make you invincible, but it does create and opportunity to create good habits for a healthy living, so that you don’t have as many health problems when your older….my favorite healthy treat/habbit are Suja juices!! 
  5. Stop trying to compare yourself to others, and start being nice to yourself. It’s hard when your young to not constantly criticize and judge yourself and the way you look, but enjoy your body, and no dieting!!! Which I know is something we have all done at least once in our lives… jus breathe, relax, and exercise…try yoga…I love it!! 
  6. Friendships matter and not all of your friends will stay with you. It might me a gradual process and your social circle will shrink down to the friends you quite simply can’t live without, and probably also the people you either work, or like me, go to school with. Try to weed out any toxic friendships, and put the effort into friends who inspire and support who you are and where you are headed. 
  7. Break-ups happen so let them go. Move forward and do not close your heart, getting hurt in love is something that everyone experiences. Every relationship teaches us more about ourselves and allows us to grow, and even if they end, the relationship wasn’t wasted if you are willing to look at all the things you learned about yourself. Just remember that the only person who can complete you is you!!!…But incase you do need a good wallow, remember to keep a pint of your favorite ice cream, and a bottle of wine, and curl up to some Netflix!!…but limit that to a day…because chances are he wasn’t good enough for you and doesn’t deserve your tears.
  8. People you went to high school with will go off get married and have babies. I still find this a little strange because I’m twenty three and no way near ready to be married or a mom. I just remind myself that I am still in school and now is the time to focus on that. There is no time or age limit to marriage or to starting a family, and you have to be ready, because those two things in itself are huge life altering/changing decisions. There is no rush…enjoy where your life is now!
  9. Overnight success is not possible and you don’t have to love your job, in fact most don’t, but have patience because opportunity and success will come with hard work. You will be overworked and most likely underpaid for probably a really long time, but work hard and be the best you can be, and it will pay off….I hope!!
  10. You’re trying to be a grown up, and the only way to achieve that is to cut the umbilical cord with your parents and try to fix or solve your problems by yourself, but it’s ok to ask for help if you really need it.
  11. I think that the most important “battle” you’ll go through in your twenties, and maybe even well into your thirties is the battle with yourself, and how to learn to love yourself. Without even really knowing it, your life will always have some sort of chaos or terrible thing happen. You might be dating the wrong person or stuck in a dead end job, and that can effect every aspect of your life. Just remember to make yourself a priority, and that in order for someone to love you, you have to love and respect yourself.

You grow up a lot in your 20’s so I hope that maybe some of this will help you relax, and knowing that you don’t have to figure everything out today. Now I’m not saying that you don’t have to figure out everything, because you should figure out some things. Don’t hold back on the opportunities that these years will bring, they will be some of the best times of your life and you will end up having so many memories to cherish and love. Stay strong but remember in order to figure out your life, you have to go out and live it!!

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My pencil recreation of a painting I saw on pinterest by Jessica Rae Sommer

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